I wake up at 5:30 to prepare breakfast and fix myself. I gotta be ready by 6:45 to board the bus. Even in weekends, as soon as I open my eyes, a rush of thoughts is not so uncommon--what's my call-in schedule on Sunday, what things I have to bring, what do I have to do if this student does that, and a lot more concerns about what's going to happen the following week.
Ultimately, I end up realizing my weekend is over and I never spent any single moment of it for myself.
Today I did something different without any earlier plans.
I opened my eyes, checked my watch-6:05.
I got out of my bed.
Without having to worry about taking a bath or having a meal or brushing my teeth, I put on my sweater and jogging pants, combed my hair, turned off all the lights in my house, went out of the room, locked the door and walked towards the gate.
The sky was still dark and the wind was cold.
It's a chilly Saturday morning.
Street lanterns were still on and the view of Jebel Hafeet with its highway lights crawling like rosary in the sky amazed me. I've been in this place for more than a year but I never saw how beautiful this mountain is at dawn...only now...only today.
I kept walking. My slippers went off my feet and I realized how cold the sandy soil beneath me was.
It suddenly came to me that the cold season is already here.
As I kept walking, I looked around. No one in the streets. There was peace and quiet.
I started strolling along the sidewalk. I saw a cat chasing a mouse. They were crossing the empty street.
I started strolling without any specific destination.
After some time, I saw the cafeteria just a few blocks away from my home and it was the only shop on at that time of day. It was 6:15.
I chose to drop by, bought some paratha (unleavened bread) and chicken curry and started walking again.
The sky was pale crimson. The sun was rising. The chill remained that I can still feel it even with the thick sweater I was wearing.
I chose to head home. I crossed the street, walked straight, went around the bend and I was home.
In supreme bliss.
I'll surely do this again
* * *
Sometimes, we get so preoccupied with things that we tend to forget the reality that our life's purpose can be achieved without suffering.
We can be who we are and achieve what we want in life without sacrificing all the little things that can make us happy. The world is intelligently designed for happiness and satisfaction--the cold air, the colorful surrounding, the warm hug of sunshine, the music of nature...all these are for us to consume.
I was thinking: if all these things---career, relationships, money, fame, etc---are marbles rolled off a hill, what would I chase for? what would I hold into? Then I found answer to my question.
Perhaps, it's not about which to chase. Perhaps, it's about chasing all of them altogether without failing to enjoy the run.
